Friday, January 11, 2013

Greater >

The future is called "perhaps," which is the only possible thing to call the future.  And the only important thing is not to allow that to scare you.  
~Tennessee Williams, Orpheus Descending, 1957
Hi friends....

I know it has been some time since I have sat down to write. It's funny because it's been a long time since I've even just sat down...

The past month has been anything but idle for me. I feel like since arriving home from Ethiopia just over 3 weeks now, my life been a bit of a circus. It literally left what felt at times to be an ancient world and walked right back into the corporate American Christmas... 

So here are the facts:

- Injured my back a week before leaving for Ethiopia... wasn't sure if I'd be able to make the trip. Had 2 injections, one anti inflammatory, one cortisone.... 2 nights before I was supposed to leave...
-Spent 10 days in Addis Abba, Ethiopia, where I experienced some of the greatest joys and deepest sorrows I have ever known. Words simply can't describe all that I perceived, however, I am changed forever by my experiences there..


** I will have more photos posted on my website once I get settled in NC

-Came home to begin a week long practice for 6 Christmas services on three separate days where I lead worship playing guitar...
- All with a bulging (ew, that word is just... bleak) disk in my lower L5- S1 / Sciatic nerve area... as the MRI I received revealed...
-Thus began 2 and half weeks (so far) of PT...
- Just in time for me to move to Charlotte, NC where I will be living for the next 4 months...

Needless to say. Pandemonium. 

Yet, when I look back over the past few years... the most exciting, challenging, gut wrenching, forever altering, eye opening, compelling, whimsical, days have been through out the past four months. I have to take a step back and wonder why so much commotion has been flooding my time as of late. What is radically different now? What is present that was not before? What has changed?

I believe this can be summed up in one statement:

Proverbs 29:18 Without vision the people will perish...

This past weekend, a good friend, Jimmy Page, spoke at our church about this very verse. He said he believes the reason true life transformation can take so long is because people never quite catch the vision.... 

& by vision, He clearly means the vision God has for your life. 

Vision is something that God has placed in each one of us. A divinely unique purpose for each of us to serve, all surrendered to His will. & the truth is, visions often come with great sacrifice. 
I have discovered so many of my Christian brothers and sisters choosing comfort over living radically. Not because they don't want to, but because they have settled in complacency. They have either not caught the great vision the Lord has for their lives, or they have chosen a different one, most often times, their own. 

As we all know, our visions of life are matchless to the one God has for us.

Over the past 4 months, the Lord has cleared the many distractions that once entangled my heart, my time and my focus. He has removed those that were simply in my way, hindering me and holding me back from entering this next great season.

I have finally caught the vision God has placed over my life... and I truly can't quite explain the profound truth it contains...

"When you decide on course of action in line with My will, nothing in heaven or on earth can stop you..." 
-Jesus Calling

As I stated before, radical living for Jesus comes with great sacrifice... I cannot explain to you enough the heart ache I've walked through. I had to say goodbye to the great vision I had for my life so that I could enter into the even greater vision the Lord had for mine. 
Everything I experienced was instrumental & absolutely necessary to bring me to this very moment.

Had I not walked through this season, I never would have learned just how strong of woman I am on my own two feet. I wouldn't have been able to truly own my faith. And I would have not realized the capacity the Lord has placed into my spirit to lead others. 

The real truth is that all things behind me now dwell in the past. & they only have as much power over me as I allow them to.... 
The Lord isn't losing sleep over the moments of defeat behind me... but more so, I think He is eagerly awaiting to see how I will use the time given to me now that I am walking in truth, freedom and vision.

Another real truth is that I am no different from you. There is nothing remarkable about me all. In fact, the Lord found me at a pretty broken place. To quote St. Paul, I am truly the least qualified... 

& yet, through faith in believing God's vision, I have battled the greatest heartache I've yet to know, I've traveled to Far East Africa, I am moving to Charlotte NC, where I know not a single soul, all with a back injury that I may have my entire life...

My best friend always told me that greater {>}  things were awaiting just ahead... that she knew it was coming... & that time, is here...

I will be spending the next few months in Charlotte interning with Elevation Church. I have no idea what I'm about to step into, but I know He's already there waiting for me. 
These months ahead are about me & Him. No one else. Everything is going to sorta stop turning for me. I want to get to the heart of knowing the Lord on my own. I feel that to be the best possible leader I can be, I need to be healed and whole, made complete by my Savior. I am already on the mend, but I know I have much farther to go. I know Charlotte will be this very place for me. I can feel it in my bones. 

It has been said that often times our greatest joys lie straight through our greatest fears. My prayer for us all this new year is that 2013 would really be different. That we as believers would live with courage. That we will exude radical and audacious faith, believing and trusting God for greater things. That we will trade in our comfy-complacency and start living with Kingdom Vision. 

Without Vision, the people will perish. 
My prayer is that you begin to ask God for a vision for your life. If you already know it, I pray you run with it like wild fire. There simply isn't enough time for waiting around.  
Jesus was radical. Jesus became man and died for you and me. He didn't waste time. & He certainly wasn't comfortable...

Jesus set me free on the African plains of Ethiopia. The cords of my heart had been wound so tightly, that as He cut me lose, I felt as though it had burst from my chest. It's almost as if I heard Him say, "See where I have led you to? Do you trust me with where I will lead you to?" 
The future is imminent no doubt. And sometimes the fear of the unknown can be a paralyzing phenomenon. But what greater a force than Kingdom vision, radical pursuit, and living life with purpose and fulfillment for the one who gave everything so that we could be free?



We can't be afraid. 



Jesus is > than fear. And Vision is > than the unknown.

Join Me? 
My calling is great. The stakes are high. & it requires stellar character. My vision defines the parameters that I live by. 
- Sun Stands Still, Steven Furtick 



*All photographs of me taken by Abby Caldwell. http://www.abbycaldwellphotography.com/