let him love Him more than you.

"For I am full of words,
& the Spirit within me compels me." Job 32:18

The Lord laid this on my heart this morning. So here goes nothing.

Before I really even get into it, I want to address my Lady readers in this entry. Most times I try to write objectively, but this is totally directed at the womenfolk.

I also want you to know the person writing to you (ahem, me) is/was/will be probably as insecure as you are/were/will be. So no fear or condemnation love.

something that I have seen over and again are insecure women in relationships. Often times, insecurity is the driving force behind most of our conscious and unconscious motivations -> which then transpires into behaviors -> behaviors into patterns. & so on & so on....

Insecurity creeps in and masks itself fairly well:

I've seen some women who are too afraid to challenge the person in their relationship because they are afraid of ultimate rejection. So they stay silent and stay in the shadow of their significant other....
..... I have also seen many women who secretly want their boyfriend/fiance/husband to sort of "take the reigns" of a relationship, but out of fear of disappointment go ahead and do it themselves. They don't even give the dude a chance, because they are too afraid that the desire of their heart will not be met by the one they care for so dearly...
.... I have even seen women who sequel the dreams and desires of their man because they are afraid of where those dreams and desire may just lead them... ultimately away from you. They quench & even discourage God given passions because they are selfishly fearful of what the outcomes will result in.

I have been that woman. Perhaps you have been as well

We are driven by our own fears with out maybe ever even realizing it. But in order to have a healthy and God ordained relationship, Ladies:

 the one you love, has to love Him more than he loves you. 

In order for him to love you the way that you deserve and the way that Lord has commanded men to love and respect women, He needs to be seeking after what God is asking of Him far before he seeks what you are asking of Him. It took me forever to understand that these are not separate ideas, but are meant to be intertwined functional elements. If you really want the best for the person that you love, you need to let go of your insecurity & let God do the work that only He can do.

as much control as we believe we possess, compared to God's abilities, we really have none. 

Insecurity:
lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt




I stumbled upon this quote earlier this week:


"We are the most insecure generation in history...because we are the most fatherless generation in history"


So much of insecurity derives due to broken relationships with father and child. It is everywhere! And from someone who has lived this first hand, I can not encourage you enough that this is real. Young & adult men everywhere are not stepping up to the large responsibilities that the Lord has given them because they are not being challenged to do so.... 


We as women need to be challenging the men in our lives, brothers, boyfriends, friends, fiances, husbands, fathers to seek after God's provision for them. We need to be encourages of their passions and gifts that He has gifted them with. We need to let go of what we afraid of so that the Lord can give us peace.


The person you love will fail you every day of their lives. It's how they were made. And you fail them as well. You cannot be his world, and he cannot be yours! No matter how hard he may try, he will never be able to fill your heart the way the Lord can. & why would we want to put such unnatural expectations on those we love so dearly? But if you and your man can put ALL of your trust and hope in Lord, you can come together as an even stronger force for the Kingdom, each one of you whole as an individual. 


My sweet friend Melody told me that in bringing your life together with another, for better or worse, the couple has to discern if they are a greater force for the Kingdom of God together, or apart. What powerful words to truly try to live by. 


God does not want us to be in bondage to our own fears or feelings of inadequacy. He wants us to be strong women, who allow the Lord to enter into their relationships to mold and shape you and your loved one in ways that you both alone could never. 

Challenge the one you love to seek after the Lord and his plan for your relationship. Allow the Lord to lead him to be the man God created him to be. The rest will fall into place. 


Trust.
Believe.
& Let go. 

"My child, give me your heart. & let your eyes keep to my ways." Proverbs 23:26