I Believe in Dreams

Oh this band... This girl writes everything I would ever want to say but don't know how... New Flyleaf...

Believe in Dreams

Believe in dreams
You love so much
Let the passion of your heart
Make them real
And tell
All the ones you love
Everything about the love you feel

oh photography... my greatest passion you are....

beauty is in the eye of the Beholder...

I woke up today feeling oppressed by my own self. Pretty legit way to dive in eh? But its true....As I stated briefly in a previous entry, I struggle immensely with my body image. Well, this morning resulted in a full fledged attack... I don't even think I was awake ten minutes. I didn't want to get up or go out because of how I felt. Inside all I heard was a resounding, "You're fat and you will never lose the holiday weight you gained." I know some of you reading are probably like... wow Linds...you are stupid. But seriously... this is an everyday battle for me. Somehow, lol, I made it out and about.. Later I received a text from my best friend, who told me how icky she was feeling as well because from time to time she experiences difficulty with maintaining her skin due to environmental factors. She expressed her feelings of ugliness and undesirability. I shared mine. She said that she felt like all she was doing was comparing herself. I replied, "oh you too?" And then our conversation moved onto something less trivial... This afternoon I talked to another good friend of mine, who recently ended a very controversial relationship with an ex boyfriend. She told me that in a rather heated dispute, the very clever young man told her he was happy that things had ended because she had "gained so much weight" and was now "fat." In accordance with my disbelief and immense desire to have a chat with this young man... I saw a strong, beautiful, confident girl now questioning herself solely on what some ignorant individual had said about her body....

Here in only a short few hours... three young women are feeling burdened by societal, relational, and self influence. It boggles my mind sometimes how much cognitive energy I pour into feelings and emotions on myself. If I could remove these negative and false mental constructs, what could I do with that brain power?! What other profitable and fruitful endeavors could I begin to explore? When did this society decide to pick apart people for what they look like? to make judgements on people's character, intentions, beliefs, and life goals based solely on their exterior? It is quite factual that people who are determined "attractive" have an easier time getting jobs, despite potential inadequacy in skill in comparison to the "less attractive" individual. In very worldly terms... what the Hellman's mayonnaise?

Genesis 1: 27 says,"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."- It says it right there people... We are made in the image of God, meaning... we have been created by 1. The image God had in mind of us and 2. Based on His true and real image. As an artist, I know that I have never painted the exact same picture twice. Each work I do is innately different than the other, with a different purpose to serve and a different meaning behind it. I believe that God, created us uniquely, each with a different purpose to serve, each with a different meaning behind it, and each with its own sacred beauty. Like all things... the sin of this world causes corruption. What better way for the devil to win than for us to be in constant comparison to those who the world sees "fit" and "beautiful" that there are those who spend their entire lives starving themselves or making themselves vomit to be able to have an "acceptable" body. That people in corrupted fashion industries would be telling girls that a size 0 is the new 2, the 2 is the new 4 and the 4 is the new 10. Where does that put women who are a size 20? Are they just disgraceful, undeserving beings? Or those who undergo at times life threatening plastic surgeries to have their faces molded and shaped, changed and idealized into something more aesethically pleasing...or dudes who put grueling amounts of pressure on their bodies through lifting unnatural amounts of weight or pumping their bodies full or steroids in order to reach acceptable "masculinity?" Why are we conforming? Why are we discriminating? Why aren't we embracing each other's differences?

God has warned us of these destructive lies. He tells us in John 17 that we are living "in the world," but we are "not of the world." I feel as though we need to slowly separate ourselves from pop culture and media and begin to see others with Christ's eyes. My prayer for us is that we can severe these thoughts from ourselves and begin to define beauty based on the soul and person inside the body rather than what we first perceive. The body after all, is constantly aging, dying... those we look to now to emulate now will one day be older, heavier, gray and wrinkled. But if their souls are ageless, youthful, loving, compassionate... I believe that beauty will shine through til some one's last breath. I eat my words here. I wrote this mostly for myself; This is my greatest battle but maybe you too can relate in someway... no matter what I feel today, I will stand firm in that beauty is in the eye of the Beholder, and that Beholder is Jesus. & for right now, that's more than enough for me....

I will praise you; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are your works; and that my soul knows right well. Psalm 139.

If today is a tough day....

Let this be your heart cry...

start spreadin' the news.....

"One belongs to New York instantly; One belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years...."

This quote got me pumped for my trip next weekend to New York City. I must say there is no other place in the world I would rather be. New York, You have my heart <3.

from the inside,out...

Everlasting... Your light will shine when all else fades....http://www.flickr.com/photos/iko/106957481/

What a month. What a week.... What a yesterday... I know this has been a time for me to learn and to be stretching myself. Some very interesting experiences occurred this week, that I feel quite compelled to share.

One of my greatest struggles has always been comparing myself to others, mainly other women. I have always been confident in my character and personality, yet in the physical department, I must say, I have and do struggle daily. I know you may be thinking, "well gosh Linds, everyone does from time to time, that's normal," but let me assure you, this has been a demon that has haunted tortured me for many years now. I've compared myself to models, close friends... you name it. I believe I have a very distorted perception of beauty. But like all things, God is changing this.
He started by giving me amazing peace about a particular person in which I was in constant comparison. I'm not gonna lie, it was very sad and consuming. For some reason, this person was on my mind quite a bit. Last weekend, I interacted with this individual for a little bit, which allowed me to have some peace of mind... but it wasn't until Monday when they sent me SUCH a message of encouragement did I receive the peace I had been needing. This person is indeed beautiful and is on the same road that I am; seeking God first. I think the old me would have let my own insecurities fester... would have created feelings of jealousy and animosity towards this person. But God challenged me to rise above myself and to see her for who God made her. To love her as a sister in Christ. And I believe I have made a new friend....

Similar to this, God called me once again to let go of things I have clung to in the past that affect me. I think I had been convicted of this for quite some time, but I could not surrender this to Him. I wanted to keep my relationships to myself. God could have the rest of me, but my relationships were mine. He couldn't have that part of my heart. It's obvious that human touch is far more present and imminent than the touch of God. You get immediate satisfaction. I want a hug. he'll hug me. I need a shoulder to cry on. he'll lend his. I want physical intimacy. sure thing. At our fingertips. It takes far greater discipline and patience to let God, the true lover of your heart and soul and body meet those needs. For one, God doesn't put His physical arms around us when need it most, so naturally we will seek comfort from a human being... how I have learned that this is so temporary... and is ultimately unfulfilling. I realized that the reason why I've had quite a few failed relationships is because God was not the center of it. I kept it to myself, thought I knew best. Sure enough, I didn't. And if God is not the center of your relationship... it will fail. Perhaps that's why the divorce rate is so high. Are spouses today serving God together, loving Him more than their partner? I am not sure. All I know is that I have been blessed enough to finally have found a guy who put God before me. Who pointed me back to Him, even when I didn't want to hear it. This is all new for me, entirely. And even though I have no idea how to rise above and truly live this out, I have him beside me, to build me up, to challenge me, and remind me when I forget. Hopefully I will do the same for him, with the strength of Jesus.

Everything is different now. It has to be. The old ways have to go. To love, truly, it can never be the same. I have to be changed, from the inside, out....I don't know what challenges are before me, but...Bring it on...

"Your will above all else, my purpose remains, the art of losing myself in bringing You praise....

Wishes

God answered prayers today. Big ones. <3