my song from the suburbs

This American dream is 
not what it seems. 
Maybe we're still breathing
but we're all asleep...


Monday morning. The first day to a new week. For most, a dreaded morning. I never really disliked Mondays. In high school/ college I was still coming off the high from the weekend... Wednesdays were always my death day. Mid week. Two down, two more to go. Trapped....
I usually cherish Mondays & this Monday particularly.


I'm not going to lie. Last week was unnaturally bad. As I stated in my last entry, I felt that I was experiencing an immense amount of spiritual attack. things ranged from the simple, such as worries, being unable to sleep, cars breaking down, & therefore beginning the search for a new one... to the not so simple, such as tension, a fatigued spirit, starting a not-so-dream-job, and learning how to say goodbye to a once beloved friendship... 

Pretty cars and pretty houses

Pretty people on parade

If this dream is what you're after

Then dreamin' is where you'll stay....

I was certain that the week was hard because something extraordinary was about to happen. It tends to be that way.. or at least as I get older it seems to appear that way. 

I sat in on one of the best sermons I've ever heard in my life. The exceptional Adam Workman, preached about how we can be walking through life, proclaiming that we know Jesus, doing good works in Jesus' name, serving on behalf of Jesus, praying and asking of Jesus... and completely miss knowing Jesus. Essentially walking through life, asleep. Missing it. Eyes closed to what this life is really all about... It was a message that I believe as followers of God, we need to hear over and over again. 

He also spoke about the apostle Peter... who is believed to be Jesus' most trusted earthly advocate. I stumbled upon a writing about Peter, that states: "The two letters Peter writes exhibit the Christ-like qualities that the Holy Spirit shaped in him: a readiness to embrace suffering, rather prestige, wisdom developed from experience, not imposed from a book, & humility that lacks nothing in vigor, or imagination..."

1. a readiness to embrace suffering, rather prestige

2. wisdom developed from experience, not imposed from a book

3. & humility that lacks nothing in vigor, or imagination

This is what St. Peter, Jesus' most beloved advocate was striving for? Not a dream. Not for security, not to be well respected. Not to be successful. Not to be happily married with a family, not money. Not what he could get out of it. Not seeking after what he believed his faithfulness deserved. Nothing more, than more of Jesus.

Are we just runnin' in the dark or livin'? 
Are we just runnin' in the dark or livin'?

I wonder if we all are missing it. I wonder if we are all really walking around with eyes closed, asleep. 

I am certain that the enemy knew that I would have these words graze over my ears this weekend. & That my heart would be set a fire, with a passion & a desire to know my Jesus even more...

To really press into Him.. to truly seek Him, above all else...

& am grateful, that despite his many attempts to de-rail me... this Monday morning, he has failed..

This Monday morning I feel restored. 

This Monday morning, I am hopeful.

This Monday morning, I want to be like St. Peter.

This Monday morning, I all I want is more of Jesus.

Oh, cause I wanna live

Until I die

Don't let the devil, bury me alive

when my heart stops,

let me go home

Don't let the suburbs

kill my heart & soul.... 

*lyrics by Ben Rector. Song for the Suburbs