you are the best thing, thats ever been mine...

1 John 3:18

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth



photo by bekah kay martindale

So. I felt very warm and fuzzy today. No, but really.. I felt very compelled to write about this for today's entry because Dave has played an amazing role in helping me grow in my faith. I met Dave through a mutual friend last year, but it wasn't until this February that we really began to get to know each other. Now keep in mind, around this time, and through out a large portion of the summer, I was not walking with the Lord. Throughout this time, Dave and I would chat occasionally, and in these conversations, he would always invite me to church. Well... I certainly wasn't up for that. I had far more important things to do... like waste time and energy with dudes that didn't love God, or value me. But that did not stop him. Despite my 100 No's, or I cant's or maybe next week.... He always said, "Ok, hopefully next time." He didn't give up on me. It was that Saturday night I remember, when my heart was so heavy I knew I couldn't really keep going on with the physically, emotionally and spiritually draining life I was leading, that I received the lovely, "Hey want to come to church with me in the morning?" And thank God, I said yes... and I went. And here I am lol.

David has been one of the most influential people in helping me get close to God again. He has wiped my many tears, has prayed for me when I can't pray for myself and has made me feel beautiful when I feel the furthest thing from. After the destruction and devastation of my last relationship, I had grown even more cynical in believing in relationships and love and so forth. I realized I had built a 10 foot wall around my heart. And protected it by severing ties between emotionality and physicality. I had blurred lines that needed to be defined. And I kept my desires away from God, and thought my way was the best. David has challenged me to seek my relationship with God before seeking my relationship with him. To let God heal my pain in the ways Dave could never. That the only way we can ever work is if our relationship is God, Dave and I. Those who know me well know that I'm a pretty strong personality. And hearing a lot of this hasn't gone over to well. But I've learned when God is telling us "no" its because He knows best. We never know best. I thought I knew best all this time...and all its left me is deep seated scaring... ones I may carry lifelong.

One day when we were out for a drive, Dave looked at me and said, "I want to be the guy you tell your husband that pointed you back to God. That loved you the way you should be, unconditionally. I want you to be able to tell him that." Despite my belief that marriage is not in my future, David has challenged me to put God first in everything that I do. I am  not sure what God has in store for us, but all I know is my life has been blessed by his. Both God and Dave are slowing breaking through the thick walls around my heart, and I think I'm on my way to believing again... But for now...and for always... Dave, you my dear, are the only exception. Thank you for your life. and for being my best friend. <3

When I was younger I saw my daddy cry
and curse at the wind.
He broke his own heart and I watched
as he tried to reassemble it.
And my momma swore
that she would never let herself forget.
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love if it does not exist.

But darling,
You are the only exception.

Maybe I know somewhere
deep in my soul
that love never lasts.
And we've got to find other ways
to make it alone.
Or keep a straight face.
And I've always lived like this
keeping a comfortable distance.
And up until now I've sworn to myself
that I'm content with loneliness.
Because none of it was ever worth the risk.

Well you are the only exception.
You are the only exception.

I've got a tight grip on reality,
but I can't let go of what's in front of me here.
I know you're leaving in the morning
when you wake up.
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream.

You are the only exception.
And I'm on my way to believing.
Oh, and I'm on my way to believing....