'cause now the past can be outrun...& I know You are the reason...

Have you ever found yourself standing in a place in time, wondering how the heck did you get there? Maybe just yesterday, you felt like you were doing something, familiar to your youth... and now, you're an adult... now, there are consequences to your actions... now, there is greater pain in failure, and more unanswered questions?
I find myself there tonight.

This evening, I spent it at a local funeral home, where I mourned the loss of a good friends father, who passed away this weekend. I was blessed with a very interesting middle school experience, one that I feel many people can not relate to. I attended a small private Christian school, with a graduating class comprised of 20 kids, 14 boys & 6 girls. Talk about a small world? Well, oddly enough, those 19 individuals and I share some kind of bond, even to this day.. that no matter where in life we may be, we tend to find ourselves supporting each other in times of great need, such as tonight. When I was standing around those people, I felt older... a lot older. I saw time elapsing before my eyes. Not that long ago, we all were outside on a playground running aimlessly, carefree and wide eyed... and not so many years later... we had seemed to grow aged... some of us with life altering stories... with losses... with children... How did we get to that place... And what had occupied our individual lives through out those years apart?...

I had many thoughts. & when I tend to have many thoughts.. I tend to find myself here, trying to process it all. Today I spoke with a friend, who shared with me some of their suffering they had endured for a period of their adolescence. I was in awe; despite the fact that a fair amount of time had passed, this person still was feeling immensely burdened by past experiences that had occurred in their lives. How well do we all know this haunting feeling? Feelings of wanting to go back and change something... to erase memories we can't forget. To have done something differently...

I left the conversation still wondering how to answer this person.. or what sort of encouraging word could I lend?... oddly enough my thoughts shifted to my own past... It is quite funny I am writing this entry on the eve of March first... because March of 2010 was probably the one month in my life I wish I could forget. March 2010, marked 31 days of great heart ache. March 2010 was a slow transcendence into the darkest hours of my life. It is a month in a year in which I feel, that will always linger, in someway or another... and despite the passing of time, I can recall these unwanted memories in a moments notice...

Isaiah 43: 18 (The message translation, just because I adore the direct wording)
"Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert. be present. I'm about to do something brand new. It's bursting out! don't you see it?"

2nd Cor 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old is gone, the new has come!"

Ephesians 4: 22-24 "You, were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to putt off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;  to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness"

I'm not sure about you, but I am sensing God's stress on reminding us, that the past is actually gone... that when we reconcile with Christ, that old life, actually no longer is present with us. Sure, the events happened. That can't change.. but God calls us not to dwell on them anymore, because they reflect a life apart from Him... a life that did not know Him... a life that was lukewarm... a life that was broken... a life who was blind to a greater a plan... a life who thought they knew all the answers... a life covered by scales, and sin and shame... A life.. that has died. A life... that has ended. You, friend, must embrace NOW. Present... Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, for what lies ahead is worth our every thought, our every motive, our every desire... for it is beyond what we could ever have imagined for ourselves...

I included the story tonight of my friend's dad's viewing, because it marked for me a great passing of time. It didn't seem that long ago... 8 years... I wonder what I'll say when I'm 28.... 8 years from now... will that time move just as swiftly? I encourage you, if you are holding to something that is behind your life... to realize that so much of you're mental strength, needs to reside in the present... in the new life you have been given. Tonight my prayer for you, and for myself... is that we can truly relinquish the demons of past... and set our eyes fully... on what lies ahead... after all... with Christ, all things are possible.

The Best is Yet to Come. Red.

Afraid it won't come round again
Afraid to move on
Wishing I could go back when
Everything was easier and meaningful to me
Wanting all we left behind
Like its the answer
An hour glass we can't rewind
Holding back the life that I've denied for so long..

Can I find my way to You?
And After all that we've been through
And after all we left in pieces
I still believe our lives have just begun
Cause now the past can be outrun
And I know You are the reason
I still believe the best is yet to come

A Photograph's still in my hands
Afraid to let it go
The minutes rain like grains of sand
And time is just a war that's stealing dreams from within
So come and take them back again

I won't turn around
Let it all slip away
I'm never backing down
Cause tomorrow's a new day
And everything can change

And After all that we've been through
And after all we left in pieces
I still believe our lives have just begun
Cause now the past can be outrun
And I know You are the reason
I still believe the best is yet to come....