Nameless

You walk around with a cold heart. A heart that has iced over by years and years of self indulgence.
You seem to be so sure of yourself-
Yes. Your confident and cool. Collected and content. You walk out the door completely dignified. And everyone who sees your masquerade believes the facade. You sell out to those who could really care less about your life. You play your part. You tow the line.... And then. The game's been played. The mask comes off. And all that's left is a broken shell of a crippled spirit. Exhausted and pained by years of poor choices. Again and again, you are presented chances to turn it around.

Grace.
Forgiveness.
Healing.
Preservation.
Change.
A new start...

A new life....

But again and again, you deny it. You say no thank you. I don't need you or anyone to tell me how to live my life. My way is the highway.

And again and again, you are so disillusioned to what life truly is about. Your priorities are flawed. You are selfish. Contrite. And Bitter. You live to please yourself. And all that's left is your loneliness.

And in those moments where you simply can't add one more possible distraction to keep your heart from seeing the truth... your guilt creeps up to the back of your throat. To a point where the only way to force it back down, is to drown it in a never ending bath of intoxication.

Numb.
Dulled.
Impaired.
Calloused.
Reckless.
Empty.
Stagnant.

Is this really the life you envisioned for yourself?

I don't need you. I've never needed you. My successes will never derive from what you have provided. And where I end up is not on your accord. You chose things to be this way.

Your way is a joke. Your pride is crippling. And I can see right through it all.

Your only hope is to get on your knees. Your only hope is to be made new.

(My only prayer is that you see it before it too late...)

I can not escape the feeling in the back of my mind that you will be old, and alone. Having no idea how you got so lost, and realizing that the damage you have done can never be altered or changed. That the time you lost will not come back.

My even greater fear, is that you will die blind. Having never understood. And that my only memory of you will be that of a lost child, endlessly trying to find it's way home....

But for now. You shall remain nameless...