"& then one day, she______ "

moved. 

hoped. 

hid. 

prayed. 

laughed. 

ran. 

thought. 

quit. 

screamed. 

waited. 

hurried. 

cried. 

believed. 

wanted. 

wondered. 

doubted. 

wandered. 

sat. 

felt. 

loved. 

lost. 

2012. Why, its just around the corner. Just days stand between yet another passing year. A year that has been "foretold" to bring great duress and destruction. Potential abomination and apocalyptic activity. Perhaps even visits from extraterrestrials...I'm sorry. (laughing). I can't help myself! I suppose such things make perfect sense to those who do not know God's word, -or even God- let alone His promises and warnings for the future years of our world.

That being said- I wait in anxious anticipation for 2012, for I believe something is coming, in my life, that I never could have imagined...

- IF ONLY I COULD JUST KNOW WHAT IT IS!

I feel like I have consulted guidance and counsel from well respected advocates. I have presented multiple scenarios to potentially make movement towards. I have discussed and reevaluated. Prostrated and proposed. Prayed and planned out. - and then... I simply stumbled upon this....

James 4:13
You who say, "Today or tomorrow, we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money" -Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If the Lord will it, I will ____"

I think it is fascinating, yet not surprising, that we live in a society that fosters the idea that we can be self proclaimed authors to our own American Dream. That somehow at 18, or 20, or even 25... that we remarkably would be fully equipped with enough skill, knowledge base and financial structure to sustain our independence to the fullest and healthiest state. That by becoming "legal" adults we suddenly are filled with wisdom and discernment and all of the answers. And better yet, that we had to figure out everything by ourselves. I have no idea who decided that. Or who fostered and encouraged that mindset. But that person, or party, or belief system, is nothing more than a fool.

All this time I have been relying on my own strength and resources and skill base to try to figure out what in the world what I want to do with my life. The reason why I think it has been taking it's good ol' time in being discovered, is because I have had a heart like those that James speaks of so frankly. I have been trying to write what has already been written. I've essentially been cheating God of His Master design, believing that I knew more about me than He knew about me. And He created me, so I'm pretty sure that makes Him = 1, Me = None. He is the one who instilled my skills and dreams into my very being. I need to stop saying, "Lord show me what I think I might want to do" and start saying, "If You will it Lord, reveal to me what I was created to do."

so much is about to change. I can feel change just around the corner of a new year. I am starting to feel the purpose of my life creep into motion...

After  moving. hoping. hiding. praying. laughing. running. thinking. quitting. screaming. waiting. rushing. crying. believing. wanting. wondering. doubting. wandering. sitting. feeling. loving. & losing
... then one day, I let go...

& that day, is today.

"If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open; Come near to God, and He, will come near to you." James 1:5-8; 4:8

down where the sea & city meet

I am giddy with anticipation. With Christmas just a week away I wanted to make a list of the things I have come to dearly cherish & a few things that I am greatly looking forward to.

1. Space, Silence & Discernment:
         The past month has been a whollleeeelotta that for me. And although I fought it tooth and nail, I must admit I think it was the best thing I've received in quite some time. It's hard to be away from some one you love. But often times these days, I think most people let their relationships consume their lives and tend to let the person they are investing in, become a greater investment then the investment in themselves. Some how lines get blurred and without ever intending to, the person we care for has taken precedence in our heart over The One who needs to hold that space to the fullest. This month as been redefining those lines, laying the ground work for becoming a future leader, learning just what it takes to be a strong Christian young woman, and letting God define who I am before I let anyone make a determination. I've gained a huge perspective that I wouldn't trade for the world. & even though there have been times of great pain... God has carried me through, just as He said he would. And I am better for it.

2. Community:

    I never really understood what it meant to have a community. Probably because through out most of my life I never attended a church that stressed community. Of course people were nice and you said hi on Sundays, but that was it! There was no sense of endearing relationships; with genuine interest or anyone challenging me. No one to sort of come alongside you and walk through life with you. News flash. Community is essential! God commands it! It is the key part to growing stronger in your faith. No one was meant to walk this journey of life alone or in isolation. Life's too hard! and anyone who says they don't need community is simply lying to themselves. I have discovered that I have an entire family at my church. I have real relationships, some I feel will be life long. I am forever blessed by those who I have met at LifePoint church and will continue to do life with these people no matter where I am. 

3. Friendship:

     The one thing I am forever blessed by are my friendships. Friendship for me, even when I was in college, was so surface compared to the relationships I have now. That may be due to immaturity or what not. But what I have found is that the smaller the number of friends, the greater depth those relationships uphold. At this point in my life, I simply don't have time to try to win the affections of people that are simply passing through my life. Point blank, I'm certainly not going to lose sleep over how someone feels about me, I know those who are walking beside me day in and out. & those are the people worthy of my time and energy. I encourage you to really to take a close look at the relationships in your life. Ask yourself the hard questions about the people you are spending the most time with. Are they as invested as you as you are in them? If not, probably best to move onward as hard as it may be. True friendships are rare to come by, but when they are discovered, they are worth your effort of preservation.

4. Hope & a Future...
     ah yes. from one of my favorite scripture passages. Hope, I have heard time and time again is the anchor to your soul. Hope is the one thing that every single person wakes up thinking about, whether they realize it or not. God has encouraged me over the past few weeks that above all things I need to have faith, hope and love. Faith in Him, Hope in a future & a great Love for people. He has laid before me some really exciting/ nerve racking/ just-what-I-may-have-been-waiting-for opportunities, that I feel He is simply giving me the freedom to chose which way to go. & so the next month will probably consist of just that. I believe that 2012 will be a big year for what God will do in me. And I must say that excites me more than anything. He is repairing & preparing me heart. And I simply cannot wait to see what is lies just ahead.

I am happy, grateful, hopeful, blessed, inspired, ready & willing. 

Yes <3

                                                                                                                          

Oh Christmas lights

Light up the streets

Light up the fireworks in me

May all your troubles soon be gone

Those Christmas lights keep shining on....

the waiting game

if my heart is overwhelmed
and I cannot hear Your voice
I'll hold on to what is true, 
though I cannot see...

Angst. 

That is probably the closest word to sum up my heart in the hours that will lead into tomorrow.

Have you ever been clueless as to how to enter into a circumstance? Not quite sure what to say. or what to do. Maybe its been addressing a co worker, or a family member. A peer. A significant other. a friend. Maybe its a been a decision you have spent months praying about.
& despite hours of discernment.
& cognition.
& contemplation.
& sough out advice.
& wonder.
& rehearsal.
& your certainty of articulation and intent...

you know nothing of what lies ahead. 

Victory. Defeat. 

who knows? who cares, really.

The past month has been comprised of all said things. I feel like I've become a human sponge. And that I am constantly trying to take in as much as I can. But sometimes to the point of utter exhaustion.
I have to admit tonight I am a tad weary.
Uncertainty has crippled me. And my heartache hangs in cupped hands....

If the storms of life they come,

& the road ahead gets steep,

I will lift these hands in faith

I will believe... 

I have learned a lot of things over the past month. Nothing I take for granted. I am blessed by fresh eyes. A new song. and above all things, Freedom. Self discovery is the hardest thing anyone can ever do. It involves being so raw with the person that we too often try to portray as having it all together; ourselves. It is so easy to glance at the person beside us and see what their life looks like, next to ours. and say hey, I'm doing pretty well...But when we compare our lives to Jesus. The only One truly worth comparing a life to, are we really measuring up all that well? I was not. This month has been completely devoted to trying my best to re-align my life with The Life that left the greatest impact this world has ever seen.

The process has been anything but easy. It may in fact be the hardest thing I've ever done. & sacrifices have been made. & will be made. All in what I have to trust tonight is for my greatest good.

Blessed are those who listen to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. Proverbs 8:34

Tonight I am simply waiting. Waiting for an answer. Waiting for change. Waiting for healing. Waiting for a new direction. & I must admit, the waiting is filled with fears of doubt in God's goodness. Fear of what my heart can and can't handle. Fear of where God is calling me to go and do.

"I remind myself of all You have done.

& the life I have, because of Your Son..." 

In this past month of heightened discernment, I have been given this;  "You are meant for greatness."
I have no idea in what context that implies, or where those words will ring true. Or just when that "aha" moment will set in. But that is what God has laid on my heart. Tonight I am doubting God's goodness. I am scared to trust. But when I take a small glimpse on what God has done in my life in just a year... How could I not trust that He has only goodness to offer me? He has given me fresh eyes. a new song. and above all things, Freedom.

He has given me: "You, are meant for greatness." 

How can I possibly have fear or angst tonight. How can I possibly doubt Him.

but those who wait upon the Lord
will renew their strength. 
they will soar on wings like eagles; 
they will run and not grow weary, 
they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

& tonight will be nothing more, than a waiting. 

Mountain high, or valley low. 

I'll sing out, remind my soul

that I am Yours. I am forever Yours.

Perfect in Weakness

I scrapped my knees when I was praying,
& found a demon in my safest haven.

The past couple weeks have been heavy.
Heavy in contemplation,
great in reflection.
but mostly, in self preservation.

Most people know that I battled, and still do from time to time, with what served as an all-thought- consuming eating disorder. Much of this was fueled by comparing myself to other females for more than half of my life. And the strict requirements set by a disillusioned culture forced me to seek out reassurance from dudes who really had no premises for judgement. Essentially, I was seeking out my worth. I had no idea what it was because it was distorted my a reflection in a mirror, drained by advertisements featuring, what now appears to me, as prepubescent, malnourished models, ultimately binding me to a lie that I was ill sufficient. This has been a great journey to overcome. And something I still work through daily.

That being said, when I look back on this time, I tend to have no real recollection of who I was, because I was endlessly trying to be something I was not. Dreams came and went, and most of my time was spent preoccupied trying to hold the attention of another person as long as I could, just so I wasn't alone.

I too, had succumbed to the strenuous bondage of life.
& the enemy worked in over time to keep me there.
Looking back I think he worked so hard to keep me there because he knew just how much potential, in Christ, I possessed.

I never really took the time to examine who I was crafted to be. Yeah I wasn't a bump on a log... but I certainly didn't expound much time or energy learning who I was, or who I could be.

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. 1st Tim 1:15-17

I've spent this week realizing how far I have come in one year. And I decided tonight, I would try something new. For once, I wanted to share with you the things that I have discovered about myself: some that I have always known, and was simply reminded of. Somethings I never imaged for my life, and some that I believe to be a part of who God made me to be, that will be revealed in due time. Things I am proud of. And here there are:


1. The Lord taught me this year that I am good friend. Although I am far from perfect, I think one thing that I am committed to are my friendships. God taught me much of what it takes to be considered a friend that sticks closer than a brother. I hope I never take for granted the time that I have spent with those I value, and who value me.

2. The Lord has revealed to me that I possess a gift. A gift that is sacred and not to be exploited or defamed. The Lord has blessed me with an ability to capture the heart of a person in an image, than can be preserved, long after the person in the image is gone. Photographing people was never something I quite saw myself excelling in. As an artist, I have always been fascinated by portraiture and faces, but this year God exposed the tool by which I would capture glimpses of many souls that I will encounter for years to come. I am honored to carry this gift so graciously entrusted to me, and hope that I will only be able to use it for something to warrant changed hearts.

3. The Lord has set me free from bondage. For years now, I have been trapped in sinful relationships. I finally fell in love with a person who loved God more than he loved me. & it changed how I saw everything. It allowed me to walk forward into total freedom, to leave an old way of life behind, forever.

4. The Lord re instituted my worth. My seeking for worth in people has left me. God took me, a person who believed marriage was a broken tradition in a culture who glamorized every aspect of marriage but the sole reason of what it was meant to be. Waiting til I was married made no sense to me. There was no reason why I should ever marry into what would only result in brokenness. The Lord harnessed my restless, bitter and contrite heart... and allowed me to believe that He created a person for me, who is my Beloved. Who is alive and breathing as we speak. He is a man of God. He will be a faithful husband, an endearing friend... and above all things... a nurturing father. And that man is worth waiting for. & I for him. 

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: 
The Lord makes us Perfect in Weakness. 


I was as weak as they would come. as sinful as they would come. and in my humility, in my weakest moments, both then... and now... He brought about change... to reveal the nature of Himself to those who would come to know Him by such an example. 


But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."
-Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."- 2 Corth 12:9


The moment we realize we are broken, The moment God can enter in to that space, and begin your transformation.




Today was a day of great weakness.
Today was a day of great perfection. 
Today I am proud of the person God has made me.
Today is the strongest I have ever felt, in my life. 

Perfect in weakness

I'm only perfect in just Your strength alone

When it Rains

it's raining today. One of the things I loathe most is rain.
Rain = Bleak.

I decided to title my blog today after the song by my newly acclaimed favorite band, Paramore (mostly because Haley Williams has written much of my life) due to the fact that the song reflects not only the current state of the weather, but of the current weathering in my heart.

This morning I gave up. For two weeks now I have been trying my best to stay distracted, project a positive attitude, force emotion, think of something else, talk to some one else. Be alone, be in community, read, sleep, apply to jobs, live.

This morning the monster emerged. I am the following:
Angry, bitter, confused, incredibly frustrated, uncertain and above all things, disappointed.

I have been completely side swiped before. Blindsided.
It is always painful in an awkward sort of way. It has also most often times, resulted in what I would consider a negative outcome.

And no, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
No, oh, I need the ending.
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain?


The senior pastor at my church gave a three part series on being side swiped in life not that long ago. Bottom line, I should have been listening a little closer than I was.

I had simply reached my limit today. No words of wisdom or inspiring song, or quiet time, or distraction could contain what was about to erupt in my heart.

And so forth were my thoughts "I can not DO this anymore. I am done, I am hurt, the silence is deafening and the withdrawal is insulting. I've done nothing to warrant this lack of affection or removal of presence. This is not my idea of-"

....& then it hit me. 

every emotion that I felt this morning,
is exactly what Jesus felt. every. single. time. I removed myself... from Him.

I immediately felt this feeling come over me, reassuring me that my conclusion was correct. I felt like I simply heard Him say, this is the hurt I have felt over you, my Beloved. 
& yet through my every pulling away and leaving... He waited. He was patient. He didn't leave. He didn't lose control. He did not insult me. Or chastise me. Or declare ultimatums. Or decide to no longer love me.

He didn't do anything, but let me go. until I came back.

((As if I wasn't a puddle of tears enough? Now I am a human flood. & A hideous one at that.)) 

I know the greatest calling of our Christian faith is love others as Jesus has loved us. Given my current situation... I am not so sure if I am capable. I also don't know if that's just an excuse for myself.

I think for so long now I have created so many safe guards to prevent the experience of potential hurt and pain. I have deciphered methods of closing people out & have let my mind believe that I had some sort of control or upper hand. I have learned that those walls are quickly breaking and that the control I believe to possess is non existent. I am not sure what to do with that.

I've heard time and time again, if you love someone let them go. It still doesn't make sense to me. And I'm not quite sure how to do it. I think all I really want is to know where to go from this point. In which direction to start investing fruits & my full attention. But that day is not today. 

I hate rainy days.

for a pessimist, I'm pretty optimistic...

So lets get right to it.

I am a broken person.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever foresee the journey that this year would be. It's quite amusing actually because it was this time last year, that I even began blogging. I am endlessly mind blown by timing. and how things tend to fall in place right when they should. Sometimes it's a little too scary how "perfect" things unfold.

Have you ever wanted to be free of something so badly but had no idea how to get out of it? That you knew that things could be different for you, but you didn't have any ground work laid to initiate change? That you desperately were longing to fully live the life that you projected, prayed for, lived in, searched out, desired, saw before you, around you, yet saw no real way of doing so because of the following:
1. entitlement 2. comparison 3. pride 4. a wounded heart. 5. fear

& I'm sure anything else you could imagine can stem from one of these things...

Bondage.

The thing that I think is most miraculous about this is, the One that we are proclaiming to seek whole hearted is none of things things. and anything that is of these things is not of Him. For it defies His nature and character.
1. For each one should carry his own load. Both of these verses teach that ultimately each individual should be doing their best to make their own way in life. Galatians 6:5
2.Let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.Romans 12:6
3.Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud. Proverbs 16:18-19 
4. He heals the broken hearted and binds up there wounds. Psalm 147:3
5. For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-discipline. 2nd Tim 1:7

what I learned swiftly was that God has been so relentless for my heart, that if I can't get myself out of a situation, if I am so bound by distraction, complacency, wandering, confusion, entitlement, comparison, pride, a broken heart, fear... HE WILL FORCE ME OUT OF IT. because He is above all things. He will not go away. He will not give up. He will not stop pursuing me.

Luke 15: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders, and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ ⁷ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

These are the spoken words of Christ, Jesus, our Savior and Lord. 

He goes after you... because you belong to Him... He is constantly chasing you... YOU are the one who keeps running away... YOU are the one who is lost and can't be seen. In fact... I will be so bold to say, that the Lord seeks after YOU boundlessly compared to our great "seeking" of Him...

re·lent·less 

adj.

1. Unyielding in severity or strictness

2. Steady and persistent

& here is my favorite part. and, naturally, the most applicable to my lifeee. 

John 8:

"Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?”

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, 

“Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

There is no condemnation on Your life. 

Because there is no other human being alive, capable or worthy of such declaration. 

Because before Jesus, not one can stand able. 

Through out the past two weeks. I have endured heartache that I haven't ever felt before. things have been left undefined and left unspoken. Words have been exchanged in populations I know not. Futures hang in ambiguity. & change is imminent. 

The only thing I am certain of is that for the first time in my entire life, I am walking in total freedom. & I think thats enough to trust that whatever is coming is far greater than anything that could derive on my own accord. I have failed myself endlessly. My entitlement, comparing nature, pride & arrogance, my obliterated heart & my unceasing fear in trying to command control, have only failed me to this point. 

what other choice do I have but to trust? to know this time its for real. That this time its different. That the freedom from bondage is right before my eyes. 

& the only suitable response is to cling to it. with two hands. and believe. 

easier said than done. but it's what I will do. 

A year ago I wrote down my first entry. Having no idea that what I was really doing was allowing not only myself, but others to have a glimpse into this uncertain journey, with changed lives being the key element in mind.

I have begged God for the past year for a transparent & honest heart.

I had no idea just what that looked like, until now. a year later. 

Lets do this. 

"You made a place for me, 

silenced all my accusers, 

my soul can't help but sing, Hallelujah."

Here.

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."


For as long as I can remember now, I have quoted that silly line from the poem, The Walrus and The Carpenter... however I first heard it through the 90s Nickelodeon movie, Harriet the Spy, who pretty much everyone I have met has told me I resemble...

Despite its goofy verbage, the poem alludes to discernment. And simply begins by stating, the time has come, for discernment.
The past two weeks have been anything but ordinary. Facing quite a few obstacles, some expected, others not so much, I have found myself in great need of escape. 

I always feel that God provides me said time and place just at the opportune moment. I felt as though my journey to Haiti back in August was just the first of the many places God would take me, in order to speak to me what could only be heard in such a circumstance. I love how whenever I experience unrest, He allows a way out of my restlessness....

this pic is totally happening

Friday morning I will be heading to the city of Tampa, another corner of the world I have yet to see. And once again I find myself leaving with a burdened heart, full of wonder, and uncertainty for what lies ahead in the coming year. Once again, I will trust there is an answer is waiting for me in this place. Sometimes by stepping out of familiarity, some thing you have known all along will become more readily apparent. 

There are things I miss. things I want differently. things I am grateful for. things I am waiting for. things I want to change. & things I hope never change. But all of it, I simply must let go of for now. To leave it here and seek clarity. Nothing that I'm sure the sun & sand can't fix...

I know God has given me new mercy this week. I also know there is new mercy waiting for me tomorrow morning. And despite every single desire of my heart & every hope that may reside there... The time has come, to simply be. & so I will.


The time has come....

 It is here. ...

What you see is not what you get.

"People with integrity have nothing to hide & nothing to fear.
Their lives are open books."
-Warren W. Wiersbe

I stumbled upon that quote in reading my devotional, Wisdom Walks, co-written by a good friend, and fellow Haiti team member, Jimmy Page. The devo for that day went into detail about Christian's trying to keep up appearances, for whoever, or whatever's sake. That often times, more than not, what is displayed on the outside is not lining up with what's going on in the inside.

I know in my own life, there have been so many times where someone has asked me how I was doing, and for the simple sake of time and consideration, I softly smile and say, "I'm fine." When in all reality it's the furthest thing from?

Why are we being fake?

"The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity."
Proverbs 11:3 duplicity is defined as: deceitfulness in speech or conduct, as by speaking or acting in two different ways

I am certain that in this passage, the Lord is referring to unfaithfulness to ourselves. To who we really are. & therefore commit to the bondage of a double life. to a half life.

Why are we pretending or wanting to be something we are not?

"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10

As someone who has & still continues to struggle with an eating disorder,  I have for too long seen beautiful women, ladies, even young girls fight the demon in the mirror. And men are not immune to comparison. It is a festering polyp that only brings forth growth to deadly sins such as jealousy, envy, contrite, selfish hearts.. and ultimately, to hatred. 

We are seeking after the approval of those who hold a place in a time that is passing before our eyes, instead of the approval of a timeless God, who is the only one with any right or reason to pass judgement. Lift your eyes higher than what you can see before you. Lift your eyes higher than the person looking back at you in the mirror.

There is something to be said for honesty. I love how Jimmy & his co author, Dan Britton put this:

"When who you are on the outside, matches who you are on the inside, you have wholeness, completeness, soundness. When you're authentic- not perfect, but real- your life will change. Other's lives will change. families, schools, communities, even nations, will change."

I wrote this today mostly for myself. I came to the realization that there are some things I am battling with currently that have sadly resurfaced from the past. Because my number one goal in my pursuit in my faith is to be a transparent vessel, I needed to be honest with myself, mostly, to try to understand what integrity really means & how to obtain such through the Grace of God. I feel I have only begun to scratch the surface, but at least today will begin with transparency, & truth.

I urge you to ask me questions, if it so helps you in your own life. But more so, I ask you to ask yourself questions to further honesty and growth in your journey. Where do you see duplicity in your life? What areas are keeping you from experiencing the full freedom that Jesus can bring you?

"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." 
1st Corinthians 13:12


He has already set you free.
Now the task remains to set free ourselves.