Great Love. New Horizons.

*Here's a voice for the voiceless
& a song for the soulless
Life floods in... 

dis·ci·ple noun \di-ˈsī-pəl\
1: one who accepts and assists in spreading the doctrines of another: as
a : one of the twelve in the inner circle of Christ's followers according to the Gospel accounts
b : a convinced adherent of an individual

Synonyms: acolyte, adherent, convert, follower, epigone, liege man, partisan, pupil, votarist

It's taken a long time for me to learn what this word really means... And it's taken a lot more than time to realize the weight that the word actually carries....

I had an entry written out that I was convinced was the best I had ever written. In two years of having a blog I have never accidentally deleted anything... Until that entry... I think its safe for me to say that God had something very different He wanted me to say.

This weekend our pastor addressed the shadow side that lies within each of us. The dark corner that we often avoid... & how too often we will do what ever it takes to mask it... leaving us isolated and disillusioned that we have all the answers. That somehow we have it together. And everyone else needs  fixing...

A perfect lie. An epicenter of isolation.

A prime location for a grotesque foothold to take root.

Within the past three months I've experienced some of the greatest growing pains. I feel like something or someone (the later) has been chiseling away at my heart... something or someone (the later)  is literally sculpting away at me, relentlessly.

It's hurt. It's a painful process. 

But I've discovered you are of no use to anyone if you spend time masking it. There has to be room for error.. There has to be even more room for extended grace in such a process. To accept grace if you're the person in the season of unrest... and to extend it if you're the person who's in a season of strength, surely recalling your weaker moments when it was so genuinely given to you.

NO ONE IS GETTING ANYWHERE  BEING FAKE.

I don't think Peter shined his brightest when He denied the Lord. I'd say his shinning moment was most likely when He was hanging upside, crucified.... Honest... Authentic...

What does the life of a disciple really look like. Really... 

What are we wiling to admit today.
What are we are we tired of trying to fight... Better yet, What things are we not even addressing that are glaring back at us in the mirror.

Something I have continued learning, boldly, is that leaders lead from the front. And sometimes the life of a leader, the life of disciple, can be a lonely one.

I've felt pretty lonely for a bit now... And just when I am about to succumb to that loneliness... I remember this...

Perhaps God has cleared the roadway so that when I stand face to face with what He has for me, there will be nothing in the way to distract me. I will see it fully. Clearly.

*Bring your normalcy to the edge
& watch it drown in new horizons
New horizons.

There are new horizons ahead for me. Some that I'll be seeing shortly, as I spend this weekend in NYC. (aka #home). some just a few weeks ahead... Where I will be traveling to Ethiopia for 10 days, inundated in unfamiliarity.
I'm currently waiting. Just waiting. Waiting to start. Waiting to leave. Waiting for something to change.

And most days I'm not really happy about that. I accept it. But it doesn't mean I'm thrilled about where I am right now. That's honest.

But what I do know without a shadow of a doubt, is that I've been called to discipleship. And I know that even though this may be a strange season of hurt, disappointment, loneliness, slight abandonment & many questions unanswered, This truth is awaiting each of us, if we chose it....

"We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that He has already through open His door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand- out in the wide open spaces of God's grace  & glory... standing tall & shouting our praise...." romans 5:1-2

*Great Love setting the world on fire

I am in awe of who You are 

& it's Your love I'm living for...

Great Love filling me up inside...

 You are the one I'm looking for... 

& I am Yours, forevermore...



*lyrics from Flyleaf