I woke up today feeling oppressed by my own self. Pretty legit way to dive in eh? But its true....As I stated briefly in a previous entry, I struggle immensely with my body image. Well, this morning resulted in a full fledged attack... I don't even think I was awake ten minutes. I didn't want to get up or go out because of how I felt. Inside all I heard was a resounding, "You're fat and you will never lose the holiday weight you gained." I know some of you reading are probably like... wow Linds...you are stupid. But seriously... this is an everyday battle for me. Somehow, lol, I made it out and about.. Later I received a text from my best friend, who told me how icky she was feeling as well because from time to time she experiences difficulty with maintaining her skin due to environmental factors. She expressed her feelings of ugliness and undesirability. I shared mine. She said that she felt like all she was doing was comparing herself. I replied, "oh you too?" And then our conversation moved onto something less trivial... This afternoon I talked to another good friend of mine, who recently ended a very controversial relationship with an ex boyfriend. She told me that in a rather heated dispute, the very clever young man told her he was happy that things had ended because she had "gained so much weight" and was now "fat." In accordance with my disbelief and immense desire to have a chat with this young man... I saw a strong, beautiful, confident girl now questioning herself solely on what some ignorant individual had said about her body....
Here in only a short few hours... three young women are feeling burdened by societal, relational, and self influence. It boggles my mind sometimes how much cognitive energy I pour into feelings and emotions on myself. If I could remove these negative and false mental constructs, what could I do with that brain power?! What other profitable and fruitful endeavors could I begin to explore? When did this society decide to pick apart people for what they look like? to make judgements on people's character, intentions, beliefs, and life goals based solely on their exterior? It is quite factual that people who are determined "attractive" have an easier time getting jobs, despite potential inadequacy in skill in comparison to the "less attractive" individual. In very worldly terms... what the Hellman's mayonnaise?
Genesis 1: 27 says,"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."- It says it right there people... We are made in the image of God, meaning... we have been created by 1. The image God had in mind of us and 2. Based on His true and real image. As an artist, I know that I have never painted the exact same picture twice. Each work I do is innately different than the other, with a different purpose to serve and a different meaning behind it. I believe that God, created us uniquely, each with a different purpose to serve, each with a different meaning behind it, and each with its own sacred beauty. Like all things... the sin of this world causes corruption. What better way for the devil to win than for us to be in constant comparison to those who the world sees "fit" and "beautiful" that there are those who spend their entire lives starving themselves or making themselves vomit to be able to have an "acceptable" body. That people in corrupted fashion industries would be telling girls that a size 0 is the new 2, the 2 is the new 4 and the 4 is the new 10. Where does that put women who are a size 20? Are they just disgraceful, undeserving beings? Or those who undergo at times life threatening plastic surgeries to have their faces molded and shaped, changed and idealized into something more aesethically pleasing...or dudes who put grueling amounts of pressure on their bodies through lifting unnatural amounts of weight or pumping their bodies full or steroids in order to reach acceptable "masculinity?" Why are we conforming? Why are we discriminating? Why aren't we embracing each other's differences?
God has warned us of these destructive lies. He tells us in John 17 that we are living "in the world," but we are "not of the world." I feel as though we need to slowly separate ourselves from pop culture and media and begin to see others with Christ's eyes. My prayer for us is that we can severe these thoughts from ourselves and begin to define beauty based on the soul and person inside the body rather than what we first perceive. The body after all, is constantly aging, dying... those we look to now to emulate now will one day be older, heavier, gray and wrinkled. But if their souls are ageless, youthful, loving, compassionate... I believe that beauty will shine through til some one's last breath. I eat my words here. I wrote this mostly for myself; This is my greatest battle but maybe you too can relate in someway... no matter what I feel today, I will stand firm in that beauty is in the eye of the Beholder, and that Beholder is Jesus. & for right now, that's more than enough for me....
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